I always thought that the characters on tv who would replay their horrific moments over and over in their heads were just being ridiculous. That is, until I went through Logan’s “acute decompensation” and the weeks following that awful day. Now I know that those moments you wish would fall out of your head will haunt you forever. I’ll always remember how he looked when he said “mama” as his eyes rolled back into his head as they wheeled him off to the OR. I will never forget the fear in Seth’s eyes, and then in my mother’s eyes when she arrived. I can’t forget that Logan was in unbearable pain from 9pm to 7am the next morning as his heart failed him and his organs began spasming from lack of blood.
I’m the strong one, so I very seldom let my fears slip out, but they were there……and now they appear to haunt my dreams and sometimes my conscious thoughts.
So blessed and happy to tell my boy Happy 22 months. Only a few more months until we shower him with more toys than my house can hold and celebrate his, and my, birthday. I never truly lived until my precious boy was born.
I’m going to be updating my blog links either today or tomorrow, so don’t pay any attention to a few blips 
It is hard to not have some of the memories haunt you. I think all of us heart parents have those. However I think that they are reminders of how lucky and truly blessed we are. Maybe sometimes we need them to keep us focused so we don't forget all we have to be thankful for.