I know that another child had to die for my son to live.
However, I have never once prayed for another child to die. Ever. What I did pray for was a family to be generous in their time of tragedy. I am grateful to our donor family; they are the reason I get to play with Logan every day. The road to transplant wasn’t sunshine and roses, it was our only option. I’m close with a few other transplant families and they have prayed for the exact thing. Never for death, only generosity if and when tragedy occurs.
Everything else is left for God.
I’ll admit that I still ask Him why Logan is alive and why his cousin Ben isn’t. I know I didn’t do anything different than his mama. I think I can speak for a lot of transplant parents when I say that we always weep for the children who don’t receive their miracle in time. One thing I do know is every person, no matter how long they live, is here to serve a purpose. I’ve witnessed lives changing through Logan. (Especially my own!)
First of all, I love you!
Second of all, some people are just trolls.
The fact is this: it just isn't fair. It sucks. I mean, that's an understatement right? (for those of you who don't know, I lost my son Ben from complications resulting from his HLHS. Ben is Logan's cousin.) Honestly, I'd give anything for ten more minutes with my son. I'd give anything to repeat the whole thing over, for sure, even if I knew the outcome was the same. The thing that gives me peace is seeing Ben in my life. There are songs I hear and I feel his presence, there are things that happen that I know are gifts from him. If I could know that a little part of Ben was living on through a transplant, it would give me tremendous peace. I can't have all of Ben back, but the little pieces I have are precious to me and I'd have gladly given the gift if I could have.
I'm guessing that 100% of families who donated their child's/loved one's organs feel that way. After all, why would they donate if they didn't feel that way?
There are evil people in the world who wish for people to die. Transplant families just aren't those people and to say that is really just ridiculous. One of the memories most firmly cemented in my mind is watching nurses take turns doing chest compressions on my son. That is an experience which changes you forever and you'd NEVER wish it on anyone else (and I know that you had very similar experiences with Logan as he came to the brink of death before his transplant). Anyone who would suggest that a transplant family would pray for this lacks perspective.
You are a great mama. I can't wait to meet your precious miracle boy someday.
Mamadiva, I know you don't know me, but I want to express my sincerest sympathies for your loss.
Secondly, as a mom, I pray that I'm never put in the position either of you are, knowing that another person must say goodbye to their child so mine could live on. But I do know that if something did happen to my child, without a doubt, I'd want to give that gift of life to another mother if at all possible.
Those families that choose to donate have my prayers that they know what an incredible blessing they have provided for someone else.
I'm sorry that anyone ever insinuated or said that you would want another person to die so Logan could live. Those of us who know you know that would never be the case.